How to Tell if a Chick’s Profile is Fake: An Online Guide for the Clueless

For as long as people realized that they could just pretend to be someone hotter online, there’s been cat fishing.

What is “cat fishing” you say? It’s when someone pretends to be someone they’re not, to either garner online attention, fill some vacant empty hole left in their lives, scam someone into a fake relationship where they’ll inevitably ask for money/favors, or more than likely….it’s done by some sad sexual deviant trying to get strangers to cyber sex with them online.

Someone once used my identify to cat fish on escort sites in Southern California….took one day to get back to me and this is what I did….

http://www.americanafmindy.com/stop-using-my-pics-to-catfish/

Yea, I’m a dick…but I’m a funny dick. I don’t know what their end game is when they can never be the person they’re pretending to be….but I digress.

Now, while I think it’s beyond obvious when a FB profile is fake, it’s become clear to me that many of you out there….do not. So let me break it down for you….

1. No hot chick alive only has 1 photo of herself….

There is just no fucking way. This is where you learn that Reverse Google Image is your friend…

Just upload the picture and it’ll tell you where it originated from. Technology is awesome…

….and again.

See? You could have just saved yourself from jacking off to a fat guy in Ohio….

2. Sometimes they’ll have tons of pictures…

But closer inspection (and you shouldn’t mind that) will reveal they’re all similar but different girls….reverse google imaging the profile pic proves it is in fact, just another yank bait profile…

3. They’ll also tend to have very uncreative names. The more vanilla and common the name…the harder it will be to Google information about them…

Popular name today, huh? There’s 4 Jessica Smith’s in this article alone. But thanks to Google….

You can go follow that hottie on her actual REAL account…..

4. They’ll also just be things on their account just don’t add up…

This is not something a hot chick writes as her tagline….this is 100% a hungry man in India.

And for the record….no real model works for “Model Fashion.” 

There’s also just lazy mistakes like this one….

I’m sorry but “he?” This troll went through all the trouble to steal photos of this model……..wait, that’s literally the same girl’s stolen photos from the other fake account. Trolls are so uncreative….

5. Their English will also not be bery bery good.

Wait…..what? Did she throw up half way through writing that post?

Oh yea…..that definitely doesn’t sound like every Nigerian prince email scam ever….

6. HAVING MUTUAL FRIENDS IN COMMON DOES NOT MEAN YOU KNOW THEM.

It means your friends (and it’s usually the same ones over and over again) are idiots.

If you go down this one’s timeline it’s absolutely nothing but the adventures of a small Indonesian man who tags them in everything. Hilarious….

…but still a very fake profile.

7. Feel free to troll the shit out of them too, it’s either a dirty old man, a con artist, or ISIS so….have fun with it.

Ever hear that saying “if it’s too good to be true it probably is?” Well, it is. So hopefully this has helped you out, and saved you from wasting your time, your money, and having an imaginary online girlfriend like that football player had.

Even though I’m verified, Facebook still refuses to remove accounts like this one that’s using my name, and my old headshot…

The university of “Sexy Club Night” in India. Totally legit account FB, thank you for not taking it down even though you’ve banned me 6 times over nothing already.

I had dozens of people report this by the way….

Ugh. Whatever.

You guys are hilarious by the way, and this is a great way to end it so….