How Passing Redundant Gun Laws is Just Like Watching Pornhub

Passing “feel good” legislation is like visiting Pornhub. You have an itch that needs to be scratched. It’s not as good as the real thing, but at the moment, anything seems better than nothing. So you proceed to your favorite category and give it a go. It’s cheap and easy satisfaction, but in the long run you’ll have to do it again and again, possibly becoming more and more shameful with every year.

Take gun control for instance. If you’re a liberal, you don’t need to reduce crime. Indulging in the fantasy is what’s actually important. Do so, and you’ll be rewarded with the quivering bliss of media adoration, the effusive affirmation of your like-minded peers, and the money shot of campaign donations.

As reported on, New Jersey’s Governor Phil Murphy reached for the gym sock and clicked Play. The lefty libertine signed yet another four gun laws. In his words, “Even though there’s more to do, we must take great pride in what we are doing today.” The choice of words is important. For totalitarians, there always seems to be more to do when it comes to gun control. Signing the laws feel good. They won’t do anything to reduce gun violence and save lives, but—mmmmmm—they feel good now. And passing laws will feel good the next time, and the next time, and the next time…  Furthermore, “These new laws will send the message we take gun safety and the safety of our communities seriously.” Liberals get credit for talking about problems, not solving them. Solving problems is difficult. It’s all about The Message.

Would you like an example? Measure S101 requires firearm retailers to have available for purchase at least one personalized handgun (aka “smart gun” aka “child-proof gun”) approved by the commission and listed on the roster as eligible for sale. So stunning. So brave. Everyone clapped. Thanks, Phil. That ought to do it. Andy’s Gun Store will now be forced to have at least one piece of state-mandated inventory available, which no one will buy. How many crimes will be prevented by having that gun sit on a shelf, Phil? How many?

It gets better, the governor and legislators scrolled through the categories. My Little Pony? No. Ninja? No. Priest? No. Quiet? No. Hmmm, how about Redundant? Yeah, that’s the good stuff. Click!

S3897 – Criminalizes [the] purchase, transfer, or possession of certain weapons and ammunition by persons convicted of certain crimes; establishes crime of transferring or possessing firearm without serial number. 

Um, Phil, federal law already prohibits convicted felons from buying, owning, or carrying a firearm. Oh, and uh, New Jersey law (that’s your state, Phil) also… already prohibits convicted felons from buying, owning, or carrying a firearm. So, Phil just made it what? Triple illegal? Easy buddy, there’s only so many tissues in the box. Pace yourself.

A4449 – Establishes [the] crime of soliciting transfer of firearm by disqualified person.

Not to be outdone, from the Democrat Department of Redundancy Department, A4449 also makes it illegal to purchase or transfer certain weapons by persons convicted of certain crimes, just like S3897, and Federal Law, and New Jersey Law. “It’s Quadruple illegal! Harder, daddy!!!”

A3896 Requires [the] AG and Commissioner of Health to establish suicide prevention training course and informational materials for firearm retail dealers.

The training is not mandatory yet, but, “A firearm retail dealer who sells firearms or operates a firing range shall make available the informational materials at each retail purchase counter.” Small business owners, how important is your retail space? How do you feel about the state mandating you set aside space for materials wholly unrelated to your business?

A firearms retail dealer is not a social worker. This is as wasteful as requiring the AG and the New Jersey State Police to establish a firearms training course and informational materials for social workers. Picture it. “Hey, Dolorous Mewler-Bane, the state just passed a law, so you’re going to need to make these brochures on Drawing from the Holster, One-hand and Two-hand Grip, and Defensive Handgun Tactics available to clients. That means they must be in plain sight on your desk. If you could just go ahead and clear some space, that’d be great.”

Hey, Phil, what are the benchmarks for the success of these laws? You signed them. How will we know if they work? Phil? Phil? Maybe he’s washing his hands?

What do I know? I’m Justa Gaibroh.


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